Do as I Say, Not as I Do!

Can you find all the things I should definitely not have done?  I'm pretty sure I'll do them all again. 

A grey dog walks in live slow-motion towards a Volkswagen.  "You are a defiant dog, " I say, with feigned anxiety. "We are really going to have to do something about you.  You are out of control.  Thank God I got you in the car."  I laugh at my own joke.  Lila, my mild-mannered 7-year-old Lab/Weim, had very reluctantly agreed to load up in the car after a rather short off-leash romp in our local state game lands.  She gives me a look from the back seat.  "Yes, I know you got shafted today, but it is 17 degrees, and I do still have some chest congestion..." 

I shut the door to find brown fur dancing before my eyes.  An off-leash chocolate Lab!  "Hello!  Do you want to say hi to my doggie?"  I open the car ddoor, knowing exactly what I expect to happen, and, naturally, he does it.  Plunged irectly into the back seat.  There's a certain forthrightness among Labs that I think of as characteristic of the breed, and his approach was precisely that "Hi, what's your name?" attitude.  I laugh.

Lila, of course, played it totally cool.  She finds it most sensible to remain in the down position while in the car, up to and including when strange dogs hop in and over her.  She also finds it drives the males crazy to be just slightly aloof (We joke that I taught her that.), and since this dog is male, reason #2 to be polite, but uninterested. 

The owner comes racing over with her two other Labs, one chocolate, one yellow.  She is all apologetic, worried that her dogs are somehow bothersome.  (Remember, I had already shut the door and re-opened it, so I was really the troublemaker!)  I assure her that everything is fine, and we chat about how much fun it is to have 3 large dogs (Oh, how I miss that life!).

While we are chatting, Lila decides she's made the boys wait long enough, so she stands at the door of the car awaiting my permission.  I release her, and continue my conversation with the human.  She and two of the boys have a instant message-style pee-mail conversation.

One of the boys approaches me and I instinctively reach down and touch him, bending right over him like I know him.  He licks my face, and wiggles with delight.  The second dog approaches as the first leaves.  His tail leaves loud thumps on the side of the car as I give him the same touch.  Doesn't that hurt?  He doesn't even seem to notice it's happening. 

All three dogs mill around.  After a bit more small talk, the owner looks interested in starting her walk, so I call Lila from her new group of friends.  "Nice meeting you," the owner says.  "You, too," I say, "Enjoy your walk!"  Lila sprints to me, and I load her up in the car as the other 3 follow their owner. 


I make a habit of breaking the rules because there is an exception to every rule, including this one.